Mindful Communication Challenge

Is it true? Kind? Useful?

Sometimes it's hard to know how to share ourselves authentically. The Mindful Communication Challenge offers structure to help us improve how we connect with each other. Paying attention to how our words, tone, and actions affect others, and asking ourselves "Is this true? Kind? Useful?" can help us speak from the heart. These tools help us weed out any thoughts and feelings not grounded in reality or love, and helps us dig beneath words to see our common humanity, with our deeper, universal needs.

Since true connection feels heavenly, Mindful Communication Challenge is grounded in symbolism from various Parables found in the New Testament that explore "The kingdom of heaven” as well as descriptions of what a heavenly community looks like from the works by philosopher and theologian Emanuel Swedenborg.

Focus on and explore ways to help nourish connections with those we love in our lives. Because what could be more beneficial in the long run? You can start your own exploration at any time, with our free 5 week email program, with readings, insights, and opportunities for reflection. Or start your own small group in your church or community, using the Mindful Communication Challenge workbook (available in paperback or eBook versions).

Weekly topics

Each of the five weeks explores a communication task drawn from the parable:

• Week 1: Am I listening? Listen with an open mind and open heart. Be soft ground.
• Week 2: Is it true? Question your stressful thoughts and find your truth. Sell the junk; buy the pearl.
• Week 3: Is it kind? Identify your feelings and come from love. Keep oil in your lamp.
• Week 4: Is it useful? Identify boundaries and make requests. Maintain your vine-yard.
• Week 5: Am I willing? When you’re ready, come to the feast! All are welcome.

Explore these topics during the program

Week 1: Am I listening?

Listen with an open mind and open heart. Be soft ground.
Matthew 13: 1-9
The foundation of good communication is listening, focusing really trying to understand someone, instead of simply listening to respond. Like the parable of "seeds and good ground", we can practice being soft ground for each other and our words. The best parts of their ideas have a chance to take root and bloom and we can better support and connect with those in our lives.

Week 2: Is it true?

Question your stressful thoughts and find your truth. Sell the junk; buy the pearl.
Matthew 6:20
Taking the time to question a difficult thought, asking, “Is this really true?” can have a great impact in alleviating conflict. This simple act of humility can remind us that we only see one side of things. As our defenses drop, our heart softens and our mind has a chance to open to new perspectives and new possibilities, like discovering a "pearl of great value".

Week 3: Is it kind?

Identify your feelings and come from love. Keep oil in your lamp.
Matthew 25:1-14
Truth can't act alone. When it's time to speak, the kindness in our tone of our voice and the warmth in our expression can make all the difference. This week asks us to pay attention to the intention and feelings beneath our words. By noticing our intentions and feelings, we have a greater ability to tap into love, like gathering lamp oil to illuminate our way in darkness.

Week 4: Is it useful?

Identify boundaries and make requests. Maintain your vineyard.
Matthew 20:1-16
Great relationships are built on usefulness - on a desire to do good for each other, and make each other's lives better. We may have something to say that feels true, and we may be able to express it in a kind way. Asking “Is it useful?” can ensure that our words will contribute to healing and growth within our "vineyard" (our life, home and personal space we invite others into).

Week 5: Am I willing?

When you’re ready, come to the feast! All are welcome.
Luke 15:15-23
Willingness means we embrace the challenge because we know what we value. No one is forcing us. We are not obligated; we simply know the value of warmth and authenticity in our relationships. This willingness of heart makes us open and receptive in our communication and boundaries with others.
Like the parable of the banquet, we are each invited to celebrate the wonderful relationships we have in our lives.

Small groups

A small group is a gathering of people who commit to meet on a weekly basis to explore their faith and support each other in applying that faith to life. Small groups usually include prayer, a time for checking in, and discussions or related activities.

• Start your own! It’s easy with the step-by-step Mindful Communication Challenge workbook, which includes instructions for small group leaders and participants alike.

Are you a pastor, program director, or small group leader?  Visit our New Church Journey leaders page for leader information and resources.

Questions? Contact us by email at [email protected].

This website contains a wealth of information about the New Church, and a practical, spiritual path to happiness. Read more about the beliefs of the New Church, as well as more about Emanuel Swedenborg.